domenica 25 ottobre 2009

German for beginners...

It is quite easy to learn German! Someone who knows the Latin declensions will feel confident enough in learning German. This is, at least, what German language teachers claim during the first lesson...

But how to learn German by yourself? It’s easy... The first step is, of course, to buy a German language course, like the excellent edition, published in Dortmund, which tells us about customs of Hottentots’ tribe (die Hottentotten). The textbook also explains that the opossums (die Beutelratten) are chased and kept in closed wicker baskets (die Lattengitter). This kind of cages is called in German Lattengitterkoffer; and if it contains an opossum it is called Beutelrattenlattengitterkoffer.

One day, some Hottentots capture a murder (der Attentäter) 
who is thought to be a killer of one of the mothers (die Mütter) from the Hottentot tribe (die Hottentottenmutter), 
mother of a stupid and stuttering person (der Stottertrottel). 
This type of mother, in German, is called Hottentottenstottertrottelmutter, 
and her killer Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentäter...

Well, you should know that when Hottentots capture a criminal or an enemy, they put him in the opossum cage (der Beutelrattenlattengitterkoffer). 
But, unexpectedly, the murder who was recently caught escapes: so the searching starts! 
After a while one of the Hottentot warriors runs up to the leader and says:
"I caught the murder! (der Attentäter)",

"Yes? Which one?" - the leader asks.

"the Beutelrattenlattengitterkofferattentäter" replied the warrior.

"What? The murder who was kept in the cage for opossum, made of wickerplaited material?" asks the boss.
"Sure, the Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentäter (i.e. the murder of the mother of the stupid and stuttering Hottentot)", replies the warrior.

"Ah, yes..." says the Hottentot leader, "you should say it at the beginning that you caught the Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterbeutelrattenlattengitterkofferattentäter!"...

MORAL of the story:
Always beware of a German-speaking Hottentot who wants to offer you an opossum.